I Love Nighttime

...because I can only hear the clock ticking and the occasional car pass on the road.

...because I just heard a train far off, and I was so happy that I could hear a train from here if I listen really carefully. (It reminds me of my childhood friend Katie, who lived in Covington, Georgia. She had railroad tracks right behind her house in her family's woods, and the trains woke me up at night. But imagine... to have your OWN woods, full of trees to climb and leaves to crunch.)

...because the blue shadows from the windows are nostalgic to me; I don't know why. I do remember feeling very deeply for the shadows which come into nighttime windows at the age of six, though.

...because I tell myself that everyone is sleeping but me. Now; I do know that I'm not the only one up, but I love the feeling that almost everyone around me in these houses is missing out on this moment.

...because watching the lights of the city is endlessly fascinating. Imagining the lives and people associated with every tiny pin-pricked light is another longtime hobby of mine. Mountains to the west make this especially interesting.

For a Good Time...

visit Wag 'N Wash! Becky and I took our new dogs to the self-serve dog wash today. It was so hilarious to wash our dogs (whom we are sure were never bathed before), and I have the pictures to prove it: Royal was terrified to even go inside the washing station- he just planted his feet until I had to coax him in with treats!. After a few minutes in the warm water, he relaxed. In this rare moment, he even looks like he's enjoying himself!
Saber was a good boy as well- he was less anxious than Royal! The only bad moment came when he tried to go for the store cat who happened to amble by.

Dinner and Some Honest Words

Mmmm... Does this look good or what? The cottage cheese mixed in the angel hair pasta is courtesy of Melissa, who really likes when I use her name on the Internet. She taught me how to REALLY eat pasta- in a bowl!

I've been thinking about blogging and why I do it; why I started in July. My life has changed immensely in this short period of time, and I guess I want to be sure that I'm doing it for the right reasons. Well, the first was to have a creative outlet (though it's not always very creative... oh well). I think I'm upholding that end of it. Next, I wanted to keep in touch with some friends who are also technology addicts, and that's working too. Last, I wanted to be able to write about some things that I still need to work through in real life. It's always easier to write or type thoughts out before I speak them. This is the part I'm not actually implementing, simply because I'm afraid. I am realizing that I have friends who read this blog, and, just like real life, I don't want them to be disappointed in me. I tend to present the parts that my family or friends will approve of or pat me on the back for. So for me, this post signals that I want to be as open as I can in writing so that I can transfer it into my living, breathing, speaking to another human face, life. I don't want to hold back- and if you're reading this, and continue to read, you are choosing to, despite the disappointments I may throw your way.

I cannot write simply to be read; if I want to be genuine, I have to write my true thoughts as they come to me. (But not ALL... there are some things which must remain sacred!)

Truth: I had a hard time last weekend, and I'm worried about this one coming up. There's an incredible amount of time to be wasted feeling sorry for oneself when you are lonely. Don't get me wrong, I have friends, ones I wish I could see more of, and life has taken many of us apart for varying reasons. I understand this. I don't intend to guilt any of my friends reading this into calling me up, or asking me out for coffee. Rather, I feel like I am being stretched and challenged by this alone time, and I realize that I am finally learning to reach out to others instead of simply waiting to be reached at.

To Honor the Helping Verb

By the way, have I told you of the song I have my 4th-graders sing about the different types of verbs? Yes, it's true... and the song is set to the tune of B-I-N-G-O; with 3 separate verses, even. Anyway, I'm sidetracked here... Had from Boston posted this blog game on her blog, and I of course responded to the challenge:

1) Reply with your name and I'll respond with something random about you.
2) I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3) I'll pick a flavor/color of jello to wrestle with you in.
4) I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
5) I'll tell you my first memory of you.
6) I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7) I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
8) If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal. You MUST. It is written.

Had wrote back to me:

ok, your name... baker...
1) you're my very favorite person to converse with.
2) where the streets have no name -- it's by u2, so that's a given. but it also has the bleeding heart/sell all my possessions and save the world passion that i associate with you.
3) green. definitely lime green.
4) nu gamma lambda!!!
5) sitting across from you at the caf - you were sitting with nate sidmore and i was with jess myers. we struck up a conversation about the "cup o' joe" esga propaganda on the table.
6) a cat.
7) are you a liberal!?
8)put it on the cuke zone.

Anyone I know up for this fun blogging game? Just comment and let me know!

Ethiopia Success

Becky is home again from Ethiopia, rested, and I got to spend the evening with her and Melanie. She gave me a beautiful pendant that looks like two little huts (it's an antique), and I'm going to put it on a beaded necklace. She also gave me two portraits, painted on goatskin. I think I'll take pictures of the items so I can display them here... they are beautiful and so special.

I started realizing recently that I need to go to Ethiopia next summer to help out. With my summers off as a teacher, how could I not? I spoke with Becky tonight and she was excited to hear this- I realized that I could easily save up enough to pay for my flight, then staying there would be relatively cheap. I'm so excited with possibilities!

I also thought I'd copy some of Becky's last post regarding the good news in Ethiopia. Read on:

My six year old niece, Gracie, had given me a baby doll to take with me for a girl in Ethiopia. She was a cute one with three pink outfits and a bottle. I realized that I hadn't had a chance to give her to the "right" girl. I asked Legesse if he thought Martha, our former Fistula survivor, would be willing to make sure she went to the right home. As I pulled the baby doll out, I wish you could have seen Martha's face. She had never seen a doll before and had only lost her baby about one year ago. She gasped, and spent about 45 minutes rocking the "baby", examining the toes, shushing, etc. It was such a time of mourning. Again, one more trauma that the Fistula women have encountered, the loss of a child. Needles to say, our "baby" stayed home with Martha.

On Monday morning, we had a meeting scheduled with USAID. I was hoping for about fifteen minutes to ask some basic questions. We arrived a little early and were escorted into a big conference room. Thirteen people joined our meeting including representatives from the US Embassy. They spent about one hour talking to me. Everyone gave me their card. The team leader told me that she thinks I am truly on the right path and that Congress has just earmarked money that has to be used for Fistula recovery. She said we seem right down the line they are looking for. Hmmmm....... I also had a meeting with the US Embassy. They asked for an article to put in their newsletter about our opening. Yippee!

After lunch with some friends, Legesse and I went on to the Fistula Hospital to meet with Ruth Kennedy. She had lots of great ideas and encouragement. (Dr. Catherine told her I was having some bumps, how embarrassing) She told us a story about when Dr Catherine and her husband began treating Fistula patients. They had to hide them under the stairway so the other patients wouldn't see them. These are the modern day lepers. And then on to a meeting to sign a six month contract for our compound!!!!!! I got to see it with my own eyes. Guess the color???? Yes, PINK!!!! With a big tree and water to wash with. I'll be home before we actually get to greet our first women. But..... February isn't far.

Thank you for all your prayers and letters of encouragement. I've sure been learning the lesson about sharing each others burdens. Thank you for sharing mine. See you soon!

Which State Are You?

Man, I've posted a lot this weekend... I must have too much free time on my hands.

I took this quiz for fun, and the results are pretty amusing (4.5 years in Springfield must have done this to me!). Try it yourself and post your results!

You're Missouri!
An admirer of the works of Mark Twain and the steamboat lifestyle, you
are happiest when floating gently down the river. You have a strong sense of
independence, a reverence for saints, and even look up to discredited explorers. With all
these traditional influences, it's no surprise you're at the center of everyone you know,
and are even considered a gateway to the future. If only you could stop drinking the
world's worst beer, you'd be set.
Take the State Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

Baking Season

(Inspired by Rob's baking experience and photo...)

We are officially in the middle of baking season since we have already had one snow here in Colorado. I have been inspired to make all sorts of cozy foods this week, but the best of all was the apple crisp that I made yesterday. Here's a pic for your viewing pleasure, then I'll tell you the details:

I decided after my last crisp that I needed to try a version that was slightly healthier (a whole stick of butter in the last recipe just couldn't be good for you). So... the finished product this time had whole wheat flower instead of white, a few oats tossed in for good measure, 4 tablespoons of Smart Balance spread (all heart-healthy canola, safflower, and olive oils), applesauce for consistency, and a little Splenda for sweetness.

And it's good. I eat it and taste the goodness of the baked apples inside. However, last time the topping was luxurious and rich, with a delicate crunch when you bit into it. My topping's a little chewier this time, and doesn't have the same consistency as the last time.

Johnny

I can't wait for the new Cash movie. I just saw this video for the first time... absolutely breathtaking, with the flock of birds flying toward the sky just like Johnny left this earth shortly afterward. I felt myself choking up because of the power of what he is saying in this song. The video is so reminiscent of a younger man, and yet through his accomplishments and trophy case, he still sings,

"And you can have it all; my empire of dirt...."

Play this movie for the experience:


Music Video Codes by VideoCodeZone.com

The Magdalene Sisters movie review

I saw this absolutely horrifying, incredibly shocking movie tonight. It's an example of the abuses that can happen when the Church has absolute power. This movie, based on a true story, tells of the young women in Ireland who were sent to the Catholic-run Magdalen Asylums for "fallen women" in the mid-1900's. At this time in Ireland, the Church had the most power of any person or institution, especially when it concerned young women and morality. The DVD also includes a special documentary with interviews with some of the women who were incarcerated, some as young as 14.

In the Magdalen Asylums, women were made to work in silence in the laundry facilities all day with no pay, in order to pay penance for sexual immorality. The movie shows the abuse that occurred regularly at the hands of nuns (beatings, inhumane verbal abuse, and most horrifying, the shaving of long hair). Those sent to the Magdalen Asylums by their parents or priests went for having a child out of wedlock or being sexually immoral. Some were even there because they had been sexually violated and their families had abandoned them. Young women who were considered "flirtatious" or "too pretty" were also sent to the Magdalen laundries in order to prevent them from the inevitable "falling away".

The shocking thing is that the last Magdalen Asylum was closed in 1996. Nine years ago. It is thought that there were over 30,000 who stayed at the Magdalen Asylums. If you'd like to learn more, there's an excellent article here from Wikipedia.

The movie was sobering, and it made me think of the lies told to the Magdalens, as well as some of the things we sometimes tell young women today about their sexuality. The nuns told the women that sex was a sin, and that they had to work as hard as possible, avoiding all fleshly things in order to receive forgiveness from God. Sounds a little familiar...

In this movie, there was a lot of talk about living for God by the nuns, especially when they were chastising a Magdalen. They spoke of Him but lacked any evidence of love. Sadly, many former Magdalens have turned away from the church as a result of their abuse; and I can't really blame them.

One of the women's closing words from the documentary:

"I didn't see anything Godly in that church, I didn't see anything Christ-ly. All I saw was a bunch of bullies. That was all I... a bunch of bullies. And- devils dressed up in nuns' habits, that's the way I looked at it."

Royal's Bad Day

Yep, this picture should explain it all.

He is recovering nicely, however.

A New Box for the Cat!

This evening, I bought a giant box for the cat. Behold, Cleo inside the most expensive cat toy yet:

Oh, yeah, and it came with a great TV inside also.

Marky Mark and the Funky... Sarah?

This photo of my youngest brother and I was taken this weekend at our parents' house. While we've always had a youngest/oldest child bond, I've never thought we looked much alike until this past year (and doesn't this picture say it all!). I love this picture because it represents the first evening ritual when we visit the parents... first eating a home cooked meal (always with warm homemade bread), then lingering over coffee, tea, and desserts for hours. Ahhhh...

Postal Service Teaches Metaphors

I found a great new song today on the CD I got from my friend Melissa. I absolutely love Death Cab for Cutie and Postal Service (same lead singer), and I've been glued to this album nonstop for about two weeks. My new favorite song, you ask? "Brand New Colony"... Joyful, a little ethereal, and dreamy. Here's my favorite part:

I'll be the grapes fermented,
Bottled and served with the table set in my finest suit
Like a perfect gentlemen.
I'll be the fire escape that's bolted to the ancient brick
Where you will sit and contemplate your day.
I'll be the waterwings that save you if you start drowning
In an open tab when your judgement's on the brink.
I'll be the phonograph that plays your favorite
Albums back as your lying there drifting off to sleep...
I'll be the platform shoes and undo what heredity's done to you...
You won't have to strain to look into my eyes.
I'll be your winter coat buttoned and zipped straight to the throat
With the collar up so you won't catch a cold.

I want to take you far from the cynics in this town
And kiss you on the mouth.

Itch

I came home from school at 8:00 PM tonight. (We had a 12-hour day due to conferences after school). I don't feel exhausted like I normally do, but I feel like I'm missing something. I checked the mailbox. Nothing but advertisements. Checked e-mails. Nothing. Checked the fridge. I'm not hungry. So the question here is, 'What am I missing?' I feel like there's an itch that I can't scratch but I don't know where it is. I don't even know why this is bothering me, but I feel strangely like my head is still "at school". I feel bad for some of my kids in my class, feel like I'm not doing enough to help them feel confident, or challenge them, or love them. I wish I could diffuse the pressure and disapproval that some of them feel from their parents. Wish I could give the anxious boy who broke down in sobs twice during his conference a hug.

Maybe I should pray?

Beautiful Procrastination

Silliness- that's what this is. I'm trying to avoid grading writing assignments right now. It seems like the kids either REALLY get it or don't have a clue about writing a paragraph. Frustrating. So, instead... ta-dah!

I found this on Ali's Page-

Do a Google image search of the following and post the first (or favorite) result for each:
* The name of the town where you were born
* The name of the town where you live now
* Your name
* Your grandmother's name (just pick one)
* Your favorite food
* Your favorite drink
* Your favorite song
* Your favorite smell

Here are my results:

The town in which I was born:

The town I live in now:

(similar looking... hmm)

My name:

My maternal grandmother's name:

My favorite food:

My favorite drink:

My favorite song:

My favorite smell:

Enjoy! :-)

Two Alarm Fire?

Question here for the blogging public: Does a "five-alarm fire" mean that five fire engines show up? IF SO-- there was a two-alarm fire just across the street from me this evening.

I was making myself dinner (a new and fascinating hobby- steak!) when I saw flashing red lights out of the corner of my eye. Something about the lights just struck pure terror in me; as in, 'What's wrong? Something is wrong.' I looked out the window just to see the second fire engine show up and the firefighters start talking to the guy living across the street (the unit with the light on in my previous post). Some firefighters rushed into the building, and before long, I could see them steadying a ladder against the chimney of his building and then messing around up there (flashlights, spraying stuff, fans; firefighter stuff). My dog, cat, and I all crept upstairs quietly, turned the lights off, and looked down (for a better view) at the action below. The dog and cat both "stood" looking out- putting their front legs on the window sill for a better look outside... I wish I had a picture of it. :-)

Anyway, it was a simple chimney fire and the engines left after 45 minutes. Scary, nonetheless.

They Want Me to Go to School in This?

This photo really doesn't do the weather justice. It's absolutely horrible out there. The wind is blowing violently against the trees and my building resonates with these banging sounds.

The school district called a 2-hour delay, so I don't have to go in until 10:00.

But... I wanted a snow day! :-(

Another Update from Ethiopia

Posted Thursday, by Becky:

Even though I've worked so hard to learn the culture, there are still times when I make big mistakes. Then the judgement of the people feels like a Religious spirit on Meth. (not that I really know what Meth does)This morning a waitress spilled a cup of coffee on a customer. I was watching as it happened. I made the mistake of gasping. In this culture ALL emotions are to be held inside. Everyone was aghast at how uncultured I am. Oops!

I wrote to Martie Sibert and told her that I was walking past an airline office. The thought crossed my mind that I could just hop on a plane and disappear. However, rather than being swallowed by a whale I would probably be swallowed by a hawk. I am holding on to the dream of how it will feel to have the home up and running.

Another obstacle we are encountering is the stigma of once having Fistula. Even though Martha is cured and doing well, if anyone finds out that she once had fistula the whole family will be ostracized from the community. It seems very cruel to me from my cultural vantage. We will need to be very careful with the women we help to keep the purpose of our home a secret.

Dr. Catherine told us a story of one woman who had lived in a dark room for NINE years. Her family threw a plate of food in at mealtimes. She had no human contact and no sanitation for NINE years. She is unable to be fully cured because of the long years with no treatment.

Another woman had been laying in bed with her legs curled underneath her for so long that she could not even move them. After her treatment and physical therapy she is fully cured.

This may be my favorite story. One woman lost five babies before birth. The sixth one caused a fistula. When she finished her treatment, Dr. Catherine told her to go find a new husband and when she could feel the movement, to come quickly to the hospital. It happened and she was able to deliver one healthy baby. Can you imagine her joy?

Dog Blog Friday

Here's two new photos of Royal, with his new favorite chew treat (hard to see in the photos)... it's called the Everlasting Treat, and it also fits into a fun thing call the Everlasting Treat Ball.

Cool Product of the Week

I was at a teacher meeting all day Monday when I met another teacher who had a GREAT watch on. I have decided that I NEED one now. All right, maybe I'll wait until they go on sale at the Fossil outlet.

A New Record... Oww!

I am naturally clumsy. In 7th grade when I was in honor choir, I was kicked out of the elf troupe because I was never going to learn the cute elfling-dance. In high school, I didn't make it through even one day of cheerleader clinic because I couldn't keep up with the movements. (My cheerleader dreams died that very day as a result.)

Yesterday, however, was a new high in clumsiness injuries for me. To start, I was teaching science and a darling 4th-grader abruptly stood up, slamming his chair into my left kneecap. "Owwww!" I whined, tears filling my eyes as I tried to shake off the sharp pain shooting up my leg. His eyes were so big and scared as I reassured him, wincing, that I was all right.

Later, I was leaving a restaurant with friends when I decided to take a shortcut to my car in its parking spot. I leapt up onto the wooden planter separating the parking rows... and missed it barely. SLAM! My right shin hit the edge and the rest of me hit the rocks on top of the planter. Even my keychain, which I'd been holding, was broken by the impact. Owww... I edged down from the planter with the hope that no one saw it. No good- my friend's fiance popped out of his car- "Are you okay...?" (Translation: "How in the world did you do that?") "Yes," I replied sheepishly. I limped to my car where I was able to look at my scraped hands and already bruised legs.

Fair readers, there is still one injury left in my day. Last night in a strange sleeping/twitching incident, I startled my cat, who was sleeping WAY too close to me, apparently. I remember startling, but what I really remember was receiving the gash on my arm- the cat got me with her claws, probably in her sleep! Argggghh...

What Kind of American English Do You Speak?

I found this cool quiz on The shaping of myself towards a more grown-up form. Here is the variety of American English that I speak:

Your Linguistic Profile:

70% General American English

10% Upper Midwestern

10% Yankee

5% Dixie

5% Midwestern

(Note to Melissa: It's pronounced "Car-mul", not "Care-a-mell".) :-)

Here's the quiz if you'd like to take it yourself: What Kind of American English Do You Speak?

Let me know how you score!

The Best Snack In the Whole World and Ethiopia

Mmmm. I just bought a carton of mango sorbet and I am just sitting here enjoying the warm October night in Colorado.

Church this morning was wonderful, even though my normal church pal Becky wasn't there. She's in Ethiopia for the month working on a nonprofit home she's opened for women with fistula. She posted an update this morning on her web site, and she told me I could quote part of it here:

I am living with Legesse, Bizuneh, Tigist, Martha, and Elizabeth. Martha is the first woman with Fistula that we have helped. She looks so healthy and happy. Tigist was saved from the countryside and forced marriage. Elizabeth is our newest love. She was also saved from forced marriage. Forced marriage is quite common here in the country side. A man waits for the unwilling girl to let her guard down and be somewhere alone. Then his friends hold her down while the man has relations with her. She is then his wife until he leaves her. The house where I live is about two hours from the closest internet center so I may not be able to write as often. We have electricity but no running water. I learned how to shower with a bucket and dipper in the Philippines, so it is really not difficult. We share two bedroom between all of us. It is wonderful to see how much their lives have been improved. Our home is about a 30 minute walk from where the last taxi drops us. As I was walking up the hill after I first arrived, Elizabeth came running. She started crying she was so happy that her whole little body was shaking. You can imagine how I responded. We were a mess. Especially in a country where it is not correct to display emotion publicly.Tomorrow, we will begin our "step by step" with the government to get our home officially opened. I am sure we will have good news soon.

I am so happy for her, and want to travel with her sometime to see this wonderful home that dares to love and care for the outcasts of Ethiopia.

"Parties"

I had a dilemma... and I guess technically, it's been solved. I made my decision and it's over. I'm not sure many people are even thinking about it anymore, but I thought I'd write about it anyway.

One of my closest friends had a "party" last night. I say "party" because it was one of those trying-to-sell-you-something "parties" disguised as a real party/happy hour on a Friday evening. First of all, I don't like those selling parties. I'd rather have someone invite me to come over and try a product one afternoon than try to pass it off as an opportunity to get people together for fun. She doesn't sell the product herself, but got roped into hosting for an acquaintance of hers who sells the darn stuff. And I don't want to buy this junk anyway.

I saw the party hostess today and asked how everything last night went... she is still puzzled, maybe even a little hurt that I didn't attend.

I guess I don't understand why I had to feel obligated to go in the first place.