A Narrow Focus
For the record, it is impolite to greet an acquaintance with,
"You lost weight! You look great."
posted by Sarah @ 10:18 AM
11 comments
Cool Cucumber
Opposing gourd consumption since 2000.
Saturday, April 08, 2006
"You lost weight! You look great."
11 Comments:
I always wonder about that. I personally have liked it (on those rare occasions when I've actually committed to an exercise plan) when someone notices and says something. It seems like a weird catch 22...unless you end up looking like one of those anorexic celebs then of course you look great if you've lost weight...seems weird that someone would get offended like that but life is like that I guess. Better than greeting the person with a "Hey fattie, long time no see"
I think you should only say it to close friends unless the person has lost an amazing amount of weight. I have had people say it when I was up and down in my weight and it gets annoying. I feel like my obsession with my weight is justified by someone who thinks I need to lose weight. hmm...
Mary, I agree you can say that to a close friend but not to someone you rarely see. It's annoying because... well, sometimes you haven't lost weight. And because sometimes the implication is, "Wow, you look SOOO much better than time I saw you."
or, "Man, your greasy face is spewing forth a lot fewer zits these days!" That one really hurts- I completely regret saying it to that judge... Extreme as this "example" is, it's pretty much in the same vein as the weight comment. Jerks!
After I had Anjelia, it took me a year to lose the majority of my baby weight. (It seems some of it never goes away) I welcomed the weight loss comments at that point!!! I understand what your saying though Sarah. It's a good reminder to be careful with my words. Uugh, that's so hard to keep control of.
I am really sensitive about comments people make distinguishing my adopted children from my birth children. I get hurt and angry really easily.
Jules, I think the key word here would be "acquaintance." I love compliments, but when it's someone you don't know well, it places an uncomfortable importance on one's weight. It makes the one being complimented feel like that's the only thing others notice about them. Close friends have permission to compliment (but I find that close friends don't mention things like this, anyway).
I agree Sarah.
I just ran into someone at Wal-Mart that I grew up with and graduated high school with. When I see people from school they always look so. . . old. I forget that I am much older, as well. I think, "Oh my gosh! Do I look that much older too!" LOL
But, I don't say anything!
I had a close friend tell me the other day, "Wow, Melissa! You've lost a ton of weight! At least 20 pounds!" I am short. 20 pounds goes a long way. Yes, I have lost some weight, but certainly not a ton or 20 pounds for that matter! I think it's best to be general. "You look great!"
Julie, Sarah, and Mel,
You look Great!!!
Which of course does not imply that the others who commented (Carl and Mark) do not look great...especially the one to whom I am married (the older one)...see I am messing up already.
Hee hee... thanks, Mary.
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